Sex, Love and Relationships Talk

Can we choose to be single? Conversely we can choose to sleep around, but if we’re honest with ourselves, we’d all rather have one. So when we hear people say, “I’m single by choice”. What does that really mean? What does it say about that person? Does it say I’m selfish, unviable and unwilling to make room for a mate? Are we really conditioned to live life without the support, comfort and love of a mate?

Let’s have a little playtime with the “whys”. Here we go: Why persist in an unhealthy relationship? Why continue to put yourself in the exact same situations yet expect different results? Why sleep around unprotected? Why constantly badger the opposite sex, yet you’re the common denominator? Why complain about him/her yet still continue to spend time with him/her? Why give your body so quickly to someone you barely know? Why be dishonest about who you really are? Why are you still looking for that non-existent perfect person? Why offer relationship advice to others when you haven’t maintained one ever? I’ll stop this for now.

Let’s talk about lies and deception for a moment. I touched on honesty in a previous note. There are two types of lies… explicitly saying things which are not true… and indirect lies: leaving out critical information (part of the who, what, where, when, why or how) Why tell a story yet leave holes in the story especially when asking for an opinion? Is it fear of being judged? How can one offer an opinion based on a partial truth? For future reference folks, if you want an honest opinion on a situation please present the situation as if unfolded, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. And you know what… if you do that and may not like the response you get. Then STOP putting yourself in those frickin situations… geez! Personally… I will tell you what you NEED to hear not want you WANT to hear. Remember… deception comes in all forms.

This is amazing… in 2011 we shouldn’t have as many relationships and dating issues as before. The reason I say that is because there are so many relationship experts and analysts and columnists and radio/blog hosts it’s crazy. Everywhere I turn there’s a new relationships program. There are constant facebook pages and updates and notes (including this one) on the relationships/dating/love/sex stuff. Let’s face it… we all like to discuss these things. I really do believe the more the better but as long as it’s done the right way. Do you do it because it’s pure entertainment and a ratings grabber? Or do you do it to impose change and be a catalyst for change? Do you really care about people? I’ve been very nosey and have looked at people pages, listened in on blog radio shows, read articles and columns and for the most part have not been impressed. I really dislike the one-sided discussions. Let’s place blame and point the finger at the opposite. Let’s point out all of the faults of the opposite sex. Now what? Do we just go home and eat? Do we build ships and sent the opposite sex to another galaxy? What now? The last I checked it’s a relationship. You RELATE to each other… there’s 2 people involved.

I understand it’s very difficult for some people to take a look at themselves and admit they need to change things about themselves. It’s so easy to blame others. For those of you who constantly place blame and listen to others who place blame… what do you do now? Is there a wall around your heart that you won’t allow to be penetrated? Is there so much hatred in your heart? Really… how do you move forward when you’re constantly pointing the finger?

Back to the original point… if these shows/blogs/articles are not offering productive discussions where people can actually leave with something to really think about that may help them with their situations then what’s really the point? You have a bunch of yelling and placing blame that gets you no where. How about offering some solutions to various issues, how about adding a relationship therapist, psychologist, how about adding some success stories and balanced discussions. Maybe is just me… I just feel it’s counter-productive to constantly point out the faults of one gender.

Observation # 201. I noticed the women I’ve talked to about their dating standards, what they want in a mate and so on… the ones with these long lists of requirements are all single. And have been single for a while. I’m never saying give up what you really want… but just be more realistic. Hey… you can chase a fantasy all your life if that’s what you choose. It’s your life. If they’re not missing the key essentials like character, integrity, honesty, ambition, communication… to name a few, don’t be so quick to toss it out the window just because something else may be missing that’s on your list. Its so many good, decent and wonderful men and women out there. We just loose focus of what’s really important. You never know who you’re going to meet, the affect they’ll have on you and so on. Obviously what you’ve been doing up to this point hasn’t worked. So if you want something different, you have to do something different. Otherwise your life will be the same from this point forward. You can continue to search and search and wait and wait. Is that what you really want? I’m done now… there’s more to come. Have a wonderful day.

Mr. Producer