Effort!!!

Whew!!! Relationships, relationships, relationships. It's really amazing how much effort we put into doing certain things. Such as when we look to buy a new or used vehicle. We look at the model, color, interior, if it's comfortable, affordable, the test driving, we compare... you get the point, we put so much effort into making the right decision. The same goes for when we look for a new place of residence or career moves.

My question is why the same can’t be done for relationships. Why wouldn't you want to put as much effort into making sure this person you're interested in is really the one for you? After all, this is a person who can affect you mentally, emotionally and physically for many years to come. Why not take some extra time to really get to know someone? It can't hurt... can it?

I know we all sometimes get caught up in our own superficial beliefs. We're human, sometimes we can't help it. Oh no... he isn't tall enough, he doesn't have a six-pack or she isn't thin enough, she doesn't look like Halle Berry.... Whatever!!!

What if we take a step back and think about what really matters. Think about it. Wouldn't it be amazing to have someone you can really communicate with, the chemistry is on point, both of you compliment each other in every way possible. Both of you only have desires for each other.

Am I wrong? You can tell me. Of course who doesn't want someone physically attractive. You know what, if that's all they have to offer with no substance, I don't want any part of it. Am I getting old? 10 years ago I may have said something different.

It’s amazing… in 2009 I’ve seen many relationships come together, only a few months later to separate. I was able to talk to a few of them to find out what happened. They had different reasons for ending the relationship but the common theme for everyone was time. Everyone felt like they rushed into the relationship, became physical much sooner then later, loved the attention and unfortunately didn’t pay attention to other things that should matter even more. One relationship was 8 months… everything looked good on paper but he never wanted to talk about a possible future. Come to find out… he never wanted a future with her. He enjoyed spending just enough time with her to constantly sleep with her.

I say if that’s all you really wanted why not try the direct approach and spend your money on a hooker instead. That way you don’t hurt someone who is emotionally attached now.

You know we always blame each other for the situations we find ourselves in. In actuality it’s both male and female. We really should stop pointing the finger and dig deep to find out why we allow ourselves to persist in the same situations over and over again. I’m sure all of you know the definition of insanity… it’s repeating the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. If you’ve done this, well you’re insane.

Another thing… why can’t we be honest? Just think about how much trouble, time and heartbreak can be eliminated if you’re honest about some things upfront. A while ago I was asked out for a date. Although I was single, I told the woman I couldn’t because my mind was still thinking about another woman. I thought it would unfair and a waste of her time to go out with me while I’m thinking about someone else. What would you have done? This happens all the time with ex’s. Is it really fair to date others when you’re still hung up on your ex… especially when the person you’re dating wants to be serious, committed to you?

I say all of this to say, as I mentioned earlier we are affected not only physically but emotionally and mentally as well. Don’t take this relationship thing lightly.

Men and women, if you're a player, fine... do your thing but just stay on the playground, there are plenty of playmates to occupy your time. People get hurt when you lead them to believe you're serious; when all you want to do is have recess.


By the way, REAL LIFE: Sex, Love and Relationships will hit the airwaves in January. I'll keep you updated.

Take Care,
Mr. Producer